Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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