hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
