i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
