No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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