So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
