i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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