I showed him my bush... on skype.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize