the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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