My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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