The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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