we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize