ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she peed on how many people?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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