Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
