I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize