We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
