i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
