Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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