I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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