What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
