So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
