so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
