The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize