Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
