her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
