I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
