dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
