i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
