It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
