Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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