I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
