I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
