Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
do nipples grow back?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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