i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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