After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
