no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
be right there i have to get my cape
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
