so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
