12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize