Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
