I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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