let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
please come you make the beer taste better
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
