she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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