I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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