Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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