This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize