The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
