And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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