gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
