why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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