You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
