we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize