Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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