im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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