Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
