jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
