Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
