I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
