Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
