For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
