you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
