i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
