Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
