oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
