highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
