Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize