You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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