So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
