i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
