Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
