New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
